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Northern Nigerian Weddings And How They Are Observed

Wedding pre photo
Wedding pre photo

Weddings are celebrated in different ways across the world but, one factor is common, it is a happy time not just for couples but families and friends alike. In Nigeria, weddings are always extra. A lot is considered and put in place and enough money is spent to ensure that day is memorable. Weddings in Nigeria are always glamorous and fun-filled. Weddings in Northern Nigeria are no exception to this. They are in fact always extravagant with several rites to perform according to culture and the whole ceremony sometimes even lasts up to a week.

Introduction To Northern Nigerian Weddings

The northern part of Nigeria consists majorly of the Hausas although there are Fulanis and Nupes and the majority of people from this region practice Islam. Their religion influences their way of life and everything they do including marital and wedding rites.

When it comes to Northern Nigerian weddings, it is held based on an accepted pattern as shown in the Holy Quran, and the couple’s marital life is preserved by those same Quranic beliefs.             

Some of these beliefs reveal that a man can take a second wife while being married and even have up to four wives, as long as he (the man) caters to their needs and those of the children. Such belief is still being upheld and practiced today in northern Nigeria. 

Marriage in northern Nigeria is also guarded by sharia law and divorce is pretty straightforward. It only requires that the man utter the statement “Na Saike ki” meaning ‘I’ve divorced you’ three times and the marriage is over. After this, the woman is expected to leave the man’s house immediately as the man no longer regards her as his wife. In the case of reuniting after divorce, the woman has to remarry another man first, and her new groom must willingly divorce her before she can remarry her ex-husband. 

Rites Observed In Northern Nigerian Weddings

Traditionally and religiously, several rites will be performed throughout the ceremony for the couple to be considered by society as married. But these rites can only begin after the groom has declared his intention to the bride and consent has been given by both families. 

A formal introduction is then arranged for both families to know each other and then agree on the bride’s dowry or “sadaki” in Hausa. As per tradition, the dowry is usually agreed upon by the eldest male from the bride’s family and paid for by the eldest male from the groom’s family. 

Also, the groom comes with some gifts like – kola nuts, fruits, salt, and other provisions as approved by tradition. After this, the bride’s family gives a set date also known as “Sarana” for the wedding, or “Aure ” as it is fondly called. The period for this decision could be within a month or two at most to allow time for proper planning and give the groom’s people time to bring the bride’s package which is known in Northern Nigeria as Kayan Amariya or Lefe.

This package includes boxes of high-quality clothes,  shoes, bags, veils, several pieces of jewelry, perfumes, and make-up items for the wife-to-be. The groom is also mandated to take care of the house where they would live after the wedding but the bride does all the furnishing of the house and buys her kitchen items.

Mandatory Rites For Northern Nigerian Weddings

As earlier said, there are several rites to be performed in northern Nigerian weddings and these rites come in the form of gatherings usually involving the bride. These gatherings are as follows:

The Henna Party (Sa lalle): This is strictly for the bride, her friends, and other women in the family. Henna, which the gathering was named after, is a paste-like substance that becomes black or red and appears like a tattoo after being applied. It is used to decorate and beautify both hands and feet of the women involved in the marriage and a different special design is made for the bride herself. This tradition is old and very common in the north. 

Kamu: This is a small get-together often accompanied by music and food. It is organized by the women from the bride’s side to advise and encourage her in preparation for her marital life. Several topics are discussed in this gathering including pregnancy and submission to the man.  

The Nikkah: This is the most important rite because it is the actual wedding ceremony or “Daure Aure” as it is called in northern Nigeria. It is at this event that the tying of the knot and blessing of the marriage happens. Nikkah is usually done in the mosque by an Iman and by tradition, only a few people are required to attend this event. This includes the groom and men from his family and men from the bride’s family. Women are usually exempted from this event including the bride. 

Reception Lunch and Dinner Party: Next on the list of events is the reception and dinner party. These events are done at different times of the day but they have similar objectives – to get everybody into a merry mood. Music and several varieties of delicious dishes ranging from rice to chicken, tuwo, waina, pete,  pepper soups, and many more delicious Nigerian foods are available at these events. Sometimes games are included to spice up things. There is also an opportunity for couples to dance first and show off some skills while being showered money by their families and friends. 

Kai Amariya: After all is said and done the bride is taken to her husband’s house by her aunties, sister-inlaws, and other female well-wishers. This usually happens the day after the wedding reception and dinner and in the process of doing this, the bride is left with final words of advice on how to be a good wife to her husband. This rite can be emotional as the bride will miss her former home and family especially if she is moving far away from home to a different city or country.

Closing Remarks and Tips For Attending Northern Nigerian Weddings

Although the Northern part of Nigeria is made up of other tribes like the Fulanis and Nupe, the Hausa tribe’s way of organizing weddings is generally accepted in the north. 

When planning to attend a wedding in Northern Nigeria, a few tips are important to keep in mind and some of the most important include:

  • Getting a gift for the couple. Although not compulsory, it is highly appreciated. 
  • Wearing anything but white so the bride can have her day and enjoy it. 
  • Avoiding late arrivals arrival.
  • Eating before leaving the house because sometimes the ceremony may take longer than expected and the food may not be served quickly.
  • Avoid doing the photographer’s job.
  • Avoiding unnecessary recording of the couple.

 

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